You might be feeling as though you’re going in circles trying to get over someone you never dated. These are the best ways I know to take back your power after a breakup. This post is all about how to get over someone you never dated and getting over someone you never dated quotes.
Why is it so hard to get over someone you never dated?
Breaking up with someone you never dated, an ex-maybe, or an ex-almost, is harder to get over because you can’t necessarily remind yourself when it went wrong. And even if you can, there’s still that glimmer of hope in your mind. Since you haven’t had that relationship yet, it makes you want it a little.
The problem with this kind of relationship is that you can’t always pinpoint where it went wrong, it just never went totally right. But if it was supposed to go right, it would’ve already. So don’t waste your time loving someone who’s not meant to be with you.
I pinky promise you there will be someone even better if you just hold on.
This post is all about get over someone you never dated.
Getting Over Someone You Never Dated
1) Accept the Truth of What Happened
You have to accept the truth of the situation first so that you can one day let it go.
I recommend recounting everything that happened by writing it out or even recording yourself speaking. You can go into as much detail as you want about the situation. You’ll be surprised how many knots you’ll untie just by going over everything on your own.
It’ll also be helpful to try this if you dealt with a person who constantly gaslighted you. Reconciling with the heartache of all that happened, you probably feel broken, like everything is in chaos. Pair that with someone who was manipulative is next level difficult to deal with, but it’s not impossible.
“If you’re going through hell, keep going.” -Winston Churchill
I got through it and I believe that you will too. I used to think that time heals all wounds but this was something I felt time didn’t heal alone. Once I decided my experience is my responsibility, I began to heal. I was beyond tired of being miserable and feeling like my life was no longer mine.
2) Cry It Out, Feel Your Feelings
I would get so annoyed when I saw this piece of advice after my breakup. I mean, who the hell wants to continue crying over something you’d rather just put behind you?
Chances are, you won’t be able to stop yourself from feeling a great amount of pain, especially in the beginning. Instead of preventing yourself from feeling your feelings, let yourself be free.
“Sometimes it takes lying on the floor, not going left, not going right, to get over someone.” –Sweet Magnolias
Crying can be very therapeutic. With every tear and every stroke of sadness that might shadow your days, you’re closer to a time when the very things that make you bawl your eyes out right now, will simply come and go from your mind.
3) Keep Your Distance
How do you get over someone you never dated but are still friends with? How do you get over someone you never dated and see everyday?
This one’s tricky.
If the breakup is recent, it’s probably wise to avoid being around this person. However, I know that’s not always possible. What if you both go to the same school or workplace? It could even just be somewhere you love and you should not have to give that up because of someone else.
In the case that it’s not that simple to keep your distance, try not to speak to them or entertain their presence. If they’re the truly awful type that won’t leave you alone, even though they’re well aware of how much they hurt you, make your boundaries known. Stand up for yourself. Hopefully, they’ll get the hint and you can move on in peace.
4) Don’t Hold Onto Any Hope
Holding onto the hope that you might get back together with this person will delay the healing process. I’m not saying you never will be with them again, but it’s important your happiness isn’t contingent on someone else’s love for you and their energy.
I’m also not gonna give you a self-love speech because I’d roll my eyes too. But in all seriousness, holding onto hope is so dangerous. It’ll leave you vulnerable to a person who might’ve already hurt you and doesn’t care how their actions will affect you.
Stop checking up on them. Unfollow them or mute their posts, block their number, and hide or delete any pictures you might have saved. Don’t ask how their doing or try to find out if they’ve met someone new. It’ll just hurt you more to keep tabs on them when you need to be focusing on regaining your own vitality and joy.
“To heal a wound, you need to stop touching it.”
5) Listen to Music that Resonates
I feel like people would normally say you should listen to upbeat music after a breakup because it’ll raise your spirits. I wholeheartedly disagree.
Listen to music that coincides with how you feel. Something you can sing along to, or more like shout along to leading to a mess of tears if you’re anything like me.
Music is a (mostly) free therapy. By finding the poetry that resonates, you can understand the chaos of your emotions and soothe your broken heart.
6) Find or Return to the Things that Make You Happy Outside of this Person
I can’t stop thinking about someone I never dated. Why do I still think about someone I never dated?
One of the reasons why you can’t stop thinking about this person is because you’ve probably lost sight of your individuality.
It’s natural when we form new connections to grow with other people and get used to them in our lives. However, when you break up with someone in a harsh and abrupt way, or even if they ghosted you, it’s a back and forth to let it go. You never truly got to see what that relationship would’ve been like, so your pernicious imagination lives on.
“The most painful state of being is remembering a future, particularly the one you’ll never have.” – Kierkegaard
You need to remind yourself of what you love to do outside of being with this person. Make a list or brainstorm new things to try if that helps!
7) Spend Time With Your Friends and Family
Sometimes you can get so wrapped up and blinded by a new connection that everyone and everything else in your life falls to the wayside. Then you lose the person that should’ve never been the sole reason for your existence and happiness, leading you to feel lost and empty.
After a difficult breakup, you may think you’re not enough or unworthy of love. Spending time with people who already love you unconditionally, such as friends and family, can make you feel less disillusioned.
The status of “romantic” love in our lives shouldn’t determine whether or not we feel good enough for this world. Pay attention to those friendships and familial bonds that transcend any temporary flame.
8) Begin a Long-Term Project
How long does it take to get over someone you never dated?
Instead of thinking about how long it’ll take for the heartbreak to finally subside, you should focus on a long term project. This way, during your healing, at least you’ll have something in your life that allows you to dream of something new.
This could be a creative hobby that you turn into a business or even a show you’ve always wanted to watch that has like 10 seasons. If you don’t have anything in mind, try new things or do something that brought you joy when you were a little kid!
You don’t even have to be good at whatever you choose to do, it just has to put a smile on your face. In those moments of joy we feel a sense of hope, even if it’s brief, that give us that strength we need to keep going. Those moments tell us our pain is only temporary.
It WILL get better. IT WILL GET BETTER.
9) Write It Out
Can you get your heartbroken by someone you never dated?
Yes. You absolutely can get your heartbroken by someone you never dated. I’d even argue that those breakups can make us feel even worse than traditional ones.
Your feelings are valid. Don’t let anyone tell you you’re being dramatic for being so torn up over someone you didn’t even date. Labels or not this person is an ex. What you feel is real and deserves attention.
If you ever think you need to reevaluate or you just have this awful feeling in the pit of your stomach, write it out. Again, you could also just record yourself speaking into your phone. Whichever you choose, don’t hide the truth from yourself, even if it hurts.
“[They are] very dreamy, but [they are] not the sun. You are.” –Grey’s Anatomy
10) Reflect / Start Thinking About What You Want Your Next Relationship to Be Like
The only thing breakups are good for is the way they force you to stop in your tracks and point you in a new direction. Change may be uncomfortable and unwarranted, especially when it’s laced with heartache that just keeps you down.
However, breakups can teach us things about ourselves and what we should look for the next time. Reflect on what you want your next partner to be like, what values you’d like to share, and what you absolutely won’t put up with.
The person who broke your heart was just a lesson, a rotten one, but a lesson all the same. Try to stop yourself if you think about your love life in lack. Believe that there is someone better out there for you. Maybe you just haven’t met them yet, and perhaps when you do meet, it’ll be magic.
This post was all about get over someone you never dated.
